


Entropy Inside

by Kantayra of Yore (Kantayra)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-01
Updated: 2004-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-19 04:03:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kantayra/pseuds/Kantayra%20of%20Yore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike and Anya think about themselves, their loves, and lost possibilities as they have sex in 'Entropy'. Dark Spike/Anya. Part of the 1000 Pairings Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Entropy Inside

Anya let out a hiss and a gasp when he finally slid inside her. She watched his lips part, his eyes shut, his whole body tense with pleasure. God, she’d felt so empty these past weeks, and he was very large and knew exactly how to move to please a woman. She approved whole-heartedly.

Spike sighed with relief when he was finally sheathed in her body. As long as he was with her, physical sensation overwhelmed all else. All the pain and loneliness vanished with this sudden feeling of _connection_. She clung to him, urged him on, and he began moving in response. Sure and deep, but ever faster. Fuck, he wasn’t going to last…

Anya’s lips sought his, tasted the liquor there, thick and rich and heady. His lips covered hers, harsh and demanding, yet surprisingly soft and sweet as well. His tongue tangled with hers, drawing her into a slow dance that made her toes curl. Damn, this man could kiss. Not that Xander couldn’t either, but—

She froze at the thought of Xander but shook it off, instead wrapping herself around this man’s body. He was angling himself inside her now, teasing around her sweet spot, making her whimper in anticipation. And it was simply _amazing_. Far more skill that she’d ever encountered in the past. The perfect man to forget herself in…

He had felt when he’d lost her for a few seconds then, and it had just driven him more blindly into the lust. He’d known this with Buffy all too often. Giving his all only to see the woman beneath him turn her eyes from him, denying that it was _him_. Buffy had always forced him to remain faceless, nameless… God, was it too much to ask that she’d just said his name once in all the times he’d made love to her?

Anya’s hand reached up to brush his cheek, and he was startled to see that her fingers came away wet. The Big Bad did not cry, dammit! But then she kissed him, more sweetly than before, more sweetly than he’d ever been kissed. He practically melted into her, desperate for whatever affection he could glean, if only for a few seconds.

Xander had never looked at her that way. As if his entire world hung in the balance of her kisses. As if he _needed_ her more than he’d ever needed anything in his life. Yet Xander had insisted he loved her, and she really believed that, in his way, he had. She could see now, though, that he was still too much a boy, caught up in the shadow of his parents, playing at being an adult. And she still loved him, but she could see that it was hopeless all at once. She needed someone beyond that, someone with the age and experience to escape their past. And, while Spike fit the bill, the pain of his present was an overwhelming weight, and that didn’t help matters, either.

Spike pulled back from the kiss, making it slow and languorous. And, much to his surprise, she didn’t seem to object. He took advantage of that fact, kissing her the way he’d always dreamed he’d be kissed one day. Full of passion and adoration and respect. She gasped, and he wondered if maybe she’d never been kissed that way, either. Not fair, that. That the only woman who’d ever offered him warmth and comfort hadn’t had a single lover who’d looked up to her. Not right at all…

Anya hissed in recollection. Every ashamed remark and callous insult Xander had thrown her way. Every time he’d looked at her, not like his girlfriend, but as some embarrassing child he had to keep quiet. She’d felt like she’d had to hide herself from the world with him, like she was a disgrace.

But Spike…

She would’ve almost sworn the look in Spike’s eyes was one of…

 _Respect._

He saw it when he looked into her eyes. Saw that she wasn’t seeing a demon or a monster, but a man. Saw that she was seeing _him_ – his pain and his losses – and not just the vampire shell.

Anya smiled softly, still gazing into his eyes. And, for one second, he smiled back.

They came together, roughly and violently. No drawn out pleasure, this. Just fierce, raw connection. One moment of perfect understanding between two demons before they split apart into a world of loneliness once more.

Eyes downcast, they broke apart. Closer than they’d ever been to another being, and yet never further apart. The unspoken thought hung between them: _Maybe, if we’d met before we’d both been broken…_ But there was no point in dwelling on might-have-beens.

And so, with one last awkward look, Spike fled, leaving them both to mourn all that had happened, hadn’t happened, and could’ve happened.


End file.
